What matters to me now, increasingly more than ever, is my fully connected Presence. To know, in the moment, to say yes or to say no. To know, in the moment, to stay or to leave. To know, in the moment, exactly where Stela is. Without attachment to story, without attachment to past, without attachment to future, without attachment to outcome. Just me, bare, raw, Present. Here. Now.
In being responsible toward my Self (my calling, my being) I am carefree. Because the responsibility I integrate into my life is that of my choosing...and I'd have it no other way. What I'm talking about here is an internally referenced source of responsibility.
When I made the decision that I simply must cut my son's hair right freaking NOW, I also recognized within myself "this is my pattern". I knew where this was headed, been there many times before.