The Man I Allow To Penetrate Me (Poem)
There are thoughts percolating inside of me, about the man I allow to penetrate me.
The man.
The god.
The ideology.
The identity.
The system.
The dick.
As he penetrates my body
My psyche
My mind
Does he ask for permission?
Or does he just take?
Does he notice the resistance?
Or does he not care?
Is he willing to ask?
To discover?
To play?
Or will he tell his stories
Over and over
Expecting
Me
To bend.
To his
will.
Will I betray mySelf
Yet again?
By allowing him in
Where he doesn't belong?
Will I betray mySelf
Again
By allowing him in
When I don't want him?
Will I betray mySelf
Again
By calling it love
When he causes me pain?
Will I betray mySelf
Again
By spreading my legs
And unceremoniously give in?
What am I protecting?
What's the illusion
That I believe
Must be illuminated?
What are the lies
I tell myself
Over and over?
I keep telling myself I need him
I want him, even
Yet my body is screaming:
Leave him!
I know I don't trust him
I know I feel small
Around his presence and all.
What I don't know is
What's there for me to discover?
Am I willing to play?
Am I willing to own
The truth
Of the moment
That only I know?
Am I willing to listen
To my body's demands?
What's it telling me?
It's beyond what I can understand.
Yet the question is: will I choose to stay with it,
And become
The more
That life's demanding of me?
Will I choose to let him go
And set my Self free?
Will I choose
Story
Or
Sovereignty?
It seems so simple
Because it is.
It is but a
congruent, mindful, conscious, grounded
Choice.
Right here.
Right now.
I am never a victim to my life
Nor to what I allow to penetrate me.
I am the Life Force
beyond a quantum being,
expressing.
What does life look like
When I choose
To clearly see?
What does life look like
When I choose
To let him …be?
What does life look like
When I choose
Me?
And in this moment
All I choose to do
Is invite
And allow
Conscious breath
To penetrate
And become
...Me.