I know there are some souls out there (though not nearly enough, in my opinion) who are questioning the sanity and morality of choosing to bring a new life into a planet which is increasingly unable to support human life. Scientists claim that we are currently living in the midst of the 6th mass extinction of the planet’s history, and yes, folks, humankind created this situation because of the egotistical and habituated ways we have blindly chosen to live our daily lives and mindlessly procreate. Some believe this to be true and most of them are terrified, some question it’s validity but sense the anxiety of what they’re witnessing while blindly continuing to hold out hope, and others still fearfully dismiss it as hoax perpetuated by some evil “other”. My truth about it is that the biosphere is collapsing and most of us are living too status quo to notice.
But I’m not here to try and convince anyone of any truth that isn’t their own. I’m here to simply state, out loud, in the presence of others, my heartfelt and heart-wrenching experience of consciously choosing to bring new life into a planet increasingly unwilling to support human life.
I have to clarify that, overall, this was both the most difficult decision I’ve ever had to make, and, once I decided to simplify and listen to the desires of my Soul, the most effortless.
So let’s start with the hard stuff, shall we?
Choosing to have a biological child in the time of biosphere collapse has not come without it’s significant intellectual struggles. For many long, hard nights I have battled with questions surrounding the ethics and morality of choosing to bring another soul into this collapsing world. I felt entirely conflicted given the undebatable burden human life brings on mother earth and all it’s inhabitants from pole to pole and all around. I agonized over the length and quality of life my child would experience. I agonized over my ability to shape them to be internally referenced given the powerful grip cultural conditioning has on all of us. I questioned my questioning of the decision — am I overthinking it? Am I overly cautious? Am I operating our of fear and scarcity?
Am I intellectualizing too much?
Turns out, I believe I was. It was an incredible exercise to go through in order to get to the answer stemming from my Soul/Spirit/Signal/Self… in order for me to be beyond-words-certain that having this experience is a necessity for my Soul’s journey on this planet.
Here’s how I arrived there. While it seems like a linear answer (because writing flows in that direction), I want you to know that it was, in fact, more like a roller coaster ride with many bumps along the way and moments of cruising. What I realized, in the end, is that the answer was never external to me — for me, choosing to have a biological child is an expression of the Soul. So when I quieted myself down, in those intimate moments with my Self, I just knew the answer was simple: Yes, of course.
Acceptance of my Truth
Truth of it is that I feel deeply saddened by the failing state of our planet, by the habituated individual daily choices that reinforce the insufferable status quo, by who we (as a collective) have chosen to become. I know, that as god Forces expressing in the physical, we can, when we choose from that space of deep connection to the infinite field of the quantum, manifest a magnificent life for ourselves and others on the planet. Before I internalized this aforementioned truth, I spent a long time feeling deeply saddened by the loss of human potential…but, I’ve realized, falling in love with potential is like falling in love with hope –it is denial of what IS. This idea of having hope while continuing to live a life that is entirely destructive is precisely what has gotten us to this point, to begin with. I could have held out hope if each individual within the collective became more internally referenced (aka awakened to their own massive potential), but the truth of it is that humans have become so disconnected from themselves and so comfortable continuing to live habituated lives that are too small for us, never daring to question the box, thoughtlessly abiding by the mantra of “ignorance is bliss” or “hopium“. There can be no hope for the future of a human kind that continues to live this way. My truth is, the human species is fucked. When I accept this truth without trying to deny it, I feel tremendous peace within my being, and I can continue to connect with that part of me which is infinite and with which the physical matters increasingly less.
As it turns out, acceptance of death brings about new considerations of how to live. So, I choose to live increasingly by intuitively feeling, decloacking, and letting go, as much as I can, breath by breath, moment by moment, day by day. It is in my moments of absolute quiet from the external bullshit that I get crystal clear answers to my questions. I have developed deep trust for that space of internal cues.
Yes, I am bringing a child into this world with collapse/extinction at the forefront of my mind. I can never come up with any logical reason at to why anyone should procreate at a time such as this. I feel it is incredibly stupid, selfish, and downright irresponsible. It makes no intellectual sense for anyone aware enough of the collapse to bring a child into a world where extinction is knocking on our door, with the unsettling grips of cultural conditioning, with the denial and fear that has swooped our entire planet and is suffocating the earth. I can’t be certain of how the near future will unfold, but I believe that chaos is already here — I notice what is already happening with climate migration, with the ways in which the earth’s symptoms are intensifying, with the increasing violence and deprivation, and I know that this is just the beginning. Of the end.
I can choose to let fear cripple me to my feet because my child may or may not see double digits, or, I can choose to live in the now with increasing ease and grace. I can choose this very eternal moment and make choices from the quiet space that represents my infinite truth. The choice is mine. And I believe so long as I make choices from that space, there can be no wrong option. The truth of my Soul is that becoming a mother is one of the most personal and intimate experiences I am meant to experience in this lifetime, in this body. Since I made this congruent choice, I simultaneously feel no hope for the future AND no any energetic vibrations of fear or scarcity. Instead, in every breath, my body is filled with absolute joy, with tremendous gratitude that this Soul chose my partner and I to be his guardians, with deep respect for the whole of life that currently exists on this exquisite planet earth we have all been so fortunate to call “home”.
