As I write this post, I am aware of my privilege in this world. I am sitting in my fenced-in porch among two acres worth of mature trees, listening to the birds, enjoying the scent of the freshly rained-on earth, watching the hummingbirds fight over territory to the feeder. My husband is working from home and my sweet son is snoozing. Life is good.
Given the life that I live, I sometimes forget that others aren’t so fortunate. I’m sure you have heard the stats around the increase of domestic violence worldwide during this global lock-down. For so many people, particularly children, being home is the most unsafe space to be. A rather unsettling truth.
A truth that aligns with my understanding of the world we have created — a world where we know well the internalization and normalization of “violation”. Whether it is violence within one’s Self, violence in the family, violence at school, violence in spaces of worship, violence on television, violence in the mass media, violence in pornography, violence in our food, violence in our culture, violence worldwide. Collectively, we have learned to tolerate the intolerable and to go on replicating it by modeling it and teaching it to our children. And so in time, the cycle of violence not only prevails, but it intensifies.
Do you ever wonder what world newborns reside in? What they dream about? What they know of themselves? Fresh out of the waters of the womb and into the air of the earth, presumably clueless to the world they are born into. Though they know not their body and how it works, one can easily see how readily they delight in their own physicality. I believe they instinctively know that they are not their bodies, that they are intimately connected to that space in all of life that is infinite and eternal. Some call that the Self. Some call it the Soul or Spirit. Some call it godForce. Or the animating Signal of Life. I believe it to be all of that. Pure consciousness. MAGIC!
Whatever we choose to call it, I know that as adults we have collectively lost touch with it. I know, too, that if we took the opportunity to connect to it, we’d intimately know not only what it is, but too that we are IT. And not our bodies. We would know with every fiber of our being that our bodies are mere quantum biological devices that simply carry information / programming stored in our DNA to make us act “human” (after all, if modern human Gods, aka scientists, can replicate it, imagine what Mother Nature can do!? Seriously, if you haven’t heard about this, click on the link above and let it blow your mind!). In order to accept that we are not our bodies, first we must first relax the tight grip of our intellect. However, he more intelligent we are, the harder this seems to be. Alas, a story for another time. But for now consider this: once you know we are not our body, what does that leave us with? WHO are we? More importantly, WHAT are we?
In a world where culture conditions us, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we are mere mortals and an external God is the only eternal being, we stand little chance of remembering that which we were born knowing. So we go on replicating that which was taught to us, numbing ourSelves with consumption and drama and trauma instead of choosing to live from within. This is the one constant in all of the wisdom worldwide.
In my mind, the equation is simple: the more extreme the separation from our eternity (Self/Soul/Spirit/godForce), the higher the brutalization of ourSelves and our children, the more intense the violence.
Even as parents with good intentions, in an effort to socialize our children into becoming “good citizens” that “fit in” to the current culture, we teach them to disconnect from themselves. We teach them at a very young age that they are mere mortals and because they are little, they know little. We are the all-knowing authority in their lives and they better do as we say, or else. This model gets replicated and reinforced everywhere.
When we teach our children that their bodies belong to someone else (an external God, perhaps?), they learn at a very young age to be ashamed and embarrassed of their physicality. To hide their sensuality. To give away their sexuality. To live from duty. To not trust their Truth device (their body). To doubt themselves every step of the way. To be small. To keep their voices silent.
The perpetrators win.
Rape, pedophilia, beatings and all kinds of brutalization against children’s bodies and Souls remains the proverbial elephant in the room, the internalized secret that the survivors are, somehow, shamed into secretly carrying. Society has convinced them it is their fault they were violated. And we collectively reinforce this every time a survivor tells their story, and we don’t believe them.
The perpetrators are protected.
More often than not, this protection of perpetrators is systemic. The best known example of this is likely the Catholic church. Yet we continue to support this institution, no matter what. I wonder, how deeply instilled is the fear of displeasing God?
So, we give the perpetrators free reign over our children, because we are too afraid to question authority (and thus our truth).
Violence is systematically kept alive.
Yet innocence stolen has deadly repercussions.
When the voice of our Soul has been systematically silenced, we know not where to turn for the answers. In an effort to gain some perverted version of control over our own self-loathing, we take our internal aggression, repression, guilt, shame, fear, anger (etc.) out on to those around us, particularly those most vulnerable. Their innocence painfully reminds us of what was stolen from us.
My belief about it? So long as we remain disconnected from ourSelves, so long as we externalize our pain, so long as we leave our own power (godForce) unclaimed, we simply go on replicating that which we have been socialized to know: the message of I am not that and neither are you. Ego battles prevail.
Then there are those of us who are so profoundly disconnected from ourSelves that we use violence and force strategically as a means to oppress and caring none for those we choose to objectify and violate. These people prioritize endless zeros in their bank accounts over having a habitable home. Then there are those who actually enjoy raping children.
On the surface, we are all enraged about violence, particularly against children. Yet, time and time again, we choose silence over using our voice when we know abuse is happening in someone’s home. I know this to be true. Personally, I know women who know their husband abuses children and they would rather choose to stay with him and let the secret rot their bodies and Souls than simply walk away. I’ve known others who deny the truth of their own experience by openly denying the violation happening in their own home against their own children. And, at the most violent end of the spectrum, are those who provide the perpetrator with children to violate. Neighbors stand idly by, watching this go on while claiming “none of my business”. It is fucking revolting.
The perpetrators win.
The home remains the most unsafe space for children to be in.
Violence replicates and intensifies.
In my world, we cannot change the world if we do not begin to shift our own perceptions of who and what we are. In one of her later blog posts Louise LeBrun summarizes beautifully what I feel is required to conclude this post “The more the defined, replacement intentions deviate from the core of your Being, the more powerful and resonant the shock must be. To cause you to act against your own deep internal truth, the level of shock must alter your identity. An incursion into the Field that alter’s Essential Being will require a degree of sustained aggression against that innate structure of Self; expressed violently and over an extended period of time. Look familiar?
Shocking of the system need not be Soul destroying and it will separate you from an existing reality and prepare the ground to implant a different one. It all depends on you.”
It is time now to collectively shock the systems that we have kept in place for much too long. The journey starts by being within.
From where I stand, that is how we change the world, one individual contagion at time.