Letting Go, Acceptance and Surrender: Why it’s all so fucking difficult

We hang on when the pain of hanging on feels greater than the perceived pain of letting go.

Sometimes, the pain of letting something go feels far greater than the pain of hanging on. So we hang on to the thing that, despite our deepest desire for it to be otherwise, is already done.

A lot of how we relate to one another is not necessarily in our control, despite what we like to believe. I might do everything in my power to have a “good relationship” with another, but the other has to want to choose a “good relationship” with me.

The later part is entirely out of my control. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the part that hurts, because more often than not, people show us their true colours but we don’t want to accept that. Are we willing to notice? And once we notice, what are we to do with that information that we don’t want to be true?!

In the world of personal evolution, we are told to, quite simply, let it go. I most definitely agree with that both theoretically and practically. Because I know, from lived experience, that letting what isn’t serving us go IS the thing that will liberate us. However, sometimes, this is is easier said than done…

What if what you have to let go of is one of the most cherished relationships you’ve had?
What if what you have to let go of is a life-long goal achieved?
What if what you have to let go of is who you believed yourself to be?
What if what you have to let of of is a dying planet?
What if what you have to let go of is your species in collapse?
What if what you have to let go of is everything you have ever felt is real and true?

The genius of letting go, surrendering and acceptance.

The genius of letting go is that in the process of surrendering to what is, we integrate the energetic framework of having held on, and we free ourselves to choose differently…perhaps, congruently… not with the way we wished it was, but with how it is.

So what is so difficult about letting go?

A lot of us believe that if we let go, the whole thing would fall apart. We fill our heads with doubt and projected fears so that we keep things status quo.

What if … the person we wished would stay, goes.
What if … the job we worked so hard to get is the best one and we end up regretting having risked it.
What if … we let go and we hate what we discover?
What if … the person we were told we are is the best version that could be but we discover ourselves anyway and we find out we’re a fraud?

A never ending series of what if’s!

Even if those what if’s aren’t conscious, when we can’t let go of what we think should be but isn’t, those what if’s are running the show of our lives. How that works is that because we’re afraid of losing a loved one if we told them our truth about how we truly feel, we hide that truth instead (not only from them, but most importantly from ourselves). Because we’re afraid of losing our job if we took a chance and moved on, we stick it out. Because we’re afraid of finding out our own majesty, we hide from ourselves and spend a lifetime playing pretend.

And playing pretend inside ourselves is what’s killing us.

What would happen if we just let go what we thought we want and discover…what else is possible?

This one is a culture of hoarders.

While letting go feels like hard work, it is only so because we are not taught how to let go. Instead, we are taught to hang on. Hang on to our stuff. Hang on to our relationships. Hang on to toxic people because they are “family”. Hang on to our traditions. Hang on to our God. Hang on to our institutions. Hang on to our ways of life. And most importantly, hang on to our version of reality and fight to be right till death do us part!

Meanwhile…our body is shutting down, in pain, dis-eased.

*** PS, just in case: None of what I’m writing about is rational and conscious. This is stuff that’s happening under the surface of what is evident to our intellect. It is what lives underneath will and intellect. It is precisely why letting go requires surrendering as opposed to controlling / strategizing / planning / managing. Letting go is the domain of the crucible / the feminine / the yin, while controlling is the domain of the spear / the masculine / the yang. Considering all things feminine are diminished, so too is surrendering. We like to believe we have control. So we hang on, often to our own detriment. And, we don’t have to. ***

Letting go requires acceptance. It requires we look ourselves in the spiritual eye and accept the only truth that has the capacity to set us free from our own self-imposed imprisonments of expectations and fears.

And …acceptance requires letting go. It requires willingness to surrender to the unknown. It requires willingness to give up…our stories, our beliefs, our fears, our anger, our desires, our hard work, our ideas, our perceptions, our …whatever it happens to be.

And all of that requires we surrender to the truth of the moment, to the truth of the experience, to the truth of what IS, here, now…

I’ve found this to be true:

Mick Jagger Quote: "You can't always get what you want, but if you try ...

By surrendering our intellect to our being we create enough space inside ourselves to discover: what else is possible?

Fair warning: you might surprise yourself…

Learning how to continuously surrender to what is is the name of the game I’m in. It isn’t the first step, as that would be noticing, but it is the most critical step to creating enough space inside, where you live, for abundance of movement and flow.

In this profound blog post, Louise LeBrun distinguishes what Quantum TLC™ is (and what it isn’t). For those who are more curious, consider buying “Fully Alive” as part of your initiation package into a world FULL of Self-discoveries!

For a lot of us when we start out WEL-Systems® journey, we have no idea what to expect. We come in looking for a solution to our problem, and we walk out knowing our essence… in the process, the problem but dissolves itself. Part of the solution to the problem is knowing how to process the information that is in flow, so that we may come to discover the message of the information.

The information could be anything from a feeling, an emotion, a wave, a trigger, a resistance… If we don’t know what to do with that information and we habitually hold our breath, lock it down, explosively react, or fear our own reaction, we end up reinforcing the very problem we are struggling with.

You’ve lived by habit, you’ve read all the books, you’ve done all the breathwork and all the yoga. If you still find there’s something “missing”, I encourage you to get in touch with me and have a discovery call about how else might you consider living your life, today. This journey is not for the faint of heart, AND it is transformational for anyone who deeply desires it and knows not where else to turn.

I encourage you to trust your impulses, if nothing else …

All I know is: there is a more expansive way to live. A way that shows us the absolute brilliance in all that presents…a way that reminds us of what we are … a way that helps us find our way Home…not as a one and done destination, but as a lifelong journey.

PS – I share some thoughts on this on my YouTube channel @sparkingthesacred. Check it out, subscribe, and let me know YOUR thoughts!

1 thought on “Letting Go, Acceptance and Surrender: Why it’s all so fucking difficult”

  1. You’ve hit the proverbial nail on the head yet again, Stela! I’ve recently had two close friends jump down my throat for trivial things. I chew those memories up in my mind asking, “How is this about me?” and my conclusion is always, “It’s not…it’s about them”. How it’s about me is the letting go. And it’s not about letting go of the event and the hurt feelings (only to allow them to dishonour me yet again). No, it’s about letting go of the relationship and the incredulity of all that means. I definitely deserve better. Breathing is good!

    Mahalo!

    Su*

    Liked by 1 person

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