Distorted Love and Embodiment Practices
Within the mindset of patriarchy almost everything that is considered normal in society and culture "out there" is an example of distorted love. A persistent insistence on capitulation of Self to some externally predetermined reality serving anyone but me. As if I am here only to fulfill someone else's expectations and leave my own Self behind...
When I seek my Self, I am met with...
Diminishing, dismissing and dehumanizing rhetoric like you are crazy, a bitch, bizzare.
Manipulation, violence, a taking from me that which is innocent.
The Madonna / whore split that demonizes me for for "saving" myself and not.
Violence and blame of "you asked for it" and "you deserved it" and "how could you wear that around him".
Don't you know...men can't control themselves.
Boxed-in notions of what woman should be that leaves no room for my own experiences and interpretations.
Criticism of too skinny, too fat, too black, too white, too short, too tall, too much, too little.
Never enough.
Inject, nip & tuck.
Don't be so insecure.
Have a career.
Explain it to me.
Use your words.
Be objective, linear, logical.
Give up of everything for your family.
Become a doormat.
Live on the outskirts of fitting in.
Perpetually outside looking in.
Disconnection, gaslighting.
Worst yet ... penetration into my being as a means of expressing connection.
The list goes on and on and on...
The mindset of the waters we collectively swim in called patriarchy has distorted our humanity, our femininity, our masculinity, our wholeness.
Women: It is time to penetrate the illusion by intention
I no longer believe the illusion of patriarchy so deeply embedded in our collective psyche and violently sustained through culture, institutions and relations.
I have tasted sovereignty and I know something different.
Sovereignty is not found in money, a man, or even a patriarchal male god that somehow births matter.
Sovereignty is rediscovered only in the perpetual reclamation of "I AM".
Sovereignty is inhalation of my Presence in full ownership of the truth that vibrates the quantum spaces between my bones.
Sovereignty is the full exhalation and expression of "me" into the world of matter.
Sovereignty is rediscovered in the depths of the deep and dark within me.
My body is the messenger. How willing am I to listen? How able am I to let go of the conditioned story of what I think I want? How willing am I to instead discover?
When I have fully transformed into every quantum space within me to shed my conditioning and get to know my Self as the magnificence of the godForce that I AM, when I have come to taste the deliciousness of my beloved essence, when I have come to prioritize my spiritual well-being above all else, I notice: distorted love is everywhere. And for me, the decision is divine: I am unwilling to participate in it any longer.
If it looks like manipulation, lies, coercion, extortion, gaslighting, diminishing, dismissing, blaming, hurting, confusing, debilitating, pushing, ignoring, ignorance, insensitivity, intellectualizing, proving... it isn't love. It is distortion.
In this latest conversation with Dean Walker from The Poetry of Predicament podcast, we did not quite talk about distorted love. And yet, in this moment as I'm sharing the podcast with you, this is what has come up in my awareness as to why 1. we are facing the predicament of collapse not only of our civilization but also our species in the midst of the 6th mass extinction on the planet, and 2. so many of us adults walk around deeply wounded and unable to find where our mind has disappeared to while their bodies decay while semi-breathing. So we spend a fucking lifetime feeling broken and in need of fixing, running away from our fears and our truth, and always measuring our worth and value by someone else's standards.
Settling, comes to mind. Settling on all logical levels of thought.
But settling your essence to the story of another will always leave you feeling lesser than... not enough ... like you cannot measure up ... lonely ... isolated ... depleted ...enraged ... desperate ... disconnected ... uncertain ... hopeless ... fear-full ... .....
For those who are unwilling and unable to live like that anymore, know that there are ways to evolve and discover and become your unique expression of "I AM", evolving.
With all that said, please enjoy this spontaneous conversation between Dean and I.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/pjTwP-J-qvE
Here, too, is the poem that I mentioned in the podcast that I wrote about my son. Because my son is teaching more and more every day about the magnificence of our existence as consciousness, manifested. Nothing more sacred and beautiful than that!
?If you are curious to talk to me about your own evolution, I offer free discovery calls you can book here. If you have a problem that you'd like to use as an entry point to your own becoming, message me and let's take it from there. If you have an unexplainable hunger for more in life, let's definitely talk!