What nausea and dizziness taught me about myself: What it means to “stay” in the tough conversations with yourself

One of the things I educate my clients to consistently is the power of staying. Staying in the tough conversations with ourselves is what provides us with the clarity we so desperately seek.  

Growing up, no doubt, you were probably taught how to keep everything you feel on lock-down. If you were lucky, you were taught strategies to manage your state. If you were unlucky, you were taught to swallow the pain and pretend it isn’t real.  

Yet here you are, at this point in your life, and you have become so good at pretending and strategizing and managing and “keeping the lid on” so you can function as a respectable member of society. Cool beans. Now what?  

When your body is screaming and won’t let go? When you’ve exhausted all the self-help books and Oprah interviews and therapies and strategies? 

Now what?  

My suggestion to you  is to try it another way. 

My suggestion to you is to  stay with what’s presenting.

Stay without making it wrong.
Stay without wanting it to be anything other than what it is.
Stay with curiosity about its message.
Stay with commitment. 
Stay with great respect for your own becoming. 
Stay with generosity of Spirit  for yourSelf, your evolution, your well-being. 

 What does staying look like, though? Let me give you an example …  

Today I woke up with nausea that  caused me to feel dizzy.  

Two different ways to … let’s call it self-diagnose. 

In the Newtonian model of the world, I would be certain that something is wrong and I might be sick, especially since this is not the first time I’m waking up nauseous. One option could be to run to the doc and have something prescribed to make me “feel better” (in quotations for good reason). Or I could consult the internet, try to figure out its root causes, or try to come up with a label that encompasses most of my symptoms so that I know what I’m sick with. After all, if I know the label of what it is, I know what to take to help me manage it.  

That’s one model of the world.  

I mindfully and congruently operate from a fundamentally different one.  

In a quantum world, what my body is presenting  is merely information. When I know how to engage it, because I know what I am as a quantum biological being, I can sense that the information in flow is moving from the third chakra upwards toward the fifth.

Because I know I AM the living expression of the CODE Model, my interpretation of this energy in flow is that there is something I feel powerless (third chakra) to engage meaningfully, so it presents itself in an upward motion to leave my body through the throat (5th chakra), my moment of choice. In the process, it is creating a dizzying effect in my head (the 6th chakra) where my emerging identity lives. Now, this type of dizziness feels confusing rather than a clearing, so I know that there is energy ‘locked’ in flow in between the third and sixth chakras in my body.  

The beliefs I hold about what I am impact what I choose.

and therefore what I discover.

In the Newtonian paradigm of “what’s wrong”, I am stuck in trying to “figure it out”. The preposition is that there is something wrong and I need to fix it. There are experts that know what’s going on better than me, so all I have to do is figure out the best course of action.  

In the quantum paradigm all is divinely perfect, information in flow that is inviting me to pay attention because there is a message here for me to discover. Knowing myself as Creation Out of Deep Energy is the key to my ability and willingness to stay. Without needing to figure anything out. Simply choosing to be with what’s presenting and allowing it to be in flow.  

When I notice “resistance” or “bracing” or “wanting to make sense” or “manage”, I pause. I breathe. I get curious. I put everything away. I notice the flow of energy. I notice the direction. I wonder about what’s going on in my life that might be interconnected. I look out the window. I just be in the moment I am in. In other words, I stay.  

In that process of staying without needing to know or change or manage or diagnose etc., what I came to discover (after an expansive conversation with the man I perpetually choose to share my life with) is that there is a relationship between my experience of people I care about trying to “gaslight” me and my “confusion” around who I am becoming as I make the mindful choices that I’m making. My body knows.

(I’ll definitely be writing about gaslighting soon, cuz that’s one that I’m only now starting to grock its meaning, in my body) 

When I try to resist the information in flow,  when I try to label it, when I try to manage it, when I try to categorize it so it “makes sense”, I deprive myself of the innate wisdom that it carries. This isn’t bad or wrong, it merely keeps us trapped in needing to know what’s going on by fitting it into a pre-existing box of “all we already know”.  

Staying with it, on the other hand, allows us to discover what else might be going on, differently.   

So you see, this is why educating ourselves to a different paradigm about the interconnectivity of body-mind-spirit is critical.

If I only had access to a Newtonian-Allopathic paradigm that is certain of what it already knows, I would be trapped (and I was, for over a decade of my short life).  

To discover a different way to live, your curiosity must be greater than your need to be right

However, I am one of the lucky ones, because my curiosity to discover more about myself was always greater than my need to know and to be right. In fact, from where I stand,  dying to be right is no way to live. That’s how we lose our spark, day after day … until we wither into the background of our own lives, wondering … what’s the fucking point.  

Staying with it is about walking the walk. It’s about living it, in the moment it shows up, because that’s the only moment of power. 

Talking about it, strategizing, labelling, managing, etc. is about intellectualizing it. It’s about talking the talk and avoiding walking the walk. That act alone takes us out of the moment of power and into the domain of powerless. Almost everything in our society and culture teaches us to live in this intellectual, powerless space. That’s the default.  

To exit the default, you must be willing to discover how else to live.

If you're curious, I invite you to join me on the first Monday of every month for Igniting Your Potential: a conversation about choosing to live life from the quantum side of the dotted line.

Paradigm shifts don't happen overnight; yet they can.

Paradigm shifts demand we engage in different conversations that educate us to our potential. Not more 'content', but information about who and what you are as a human being. I believe that's what most of us are seeking to discover: the very essence of our being. Then live from it. THE place to be for this paradigm shift to begin to take form is in the signature WEL-Systems® intensive: Decloaking and Living Authentically.