A story about my son’s pants…
This is a story about my son's pants.
As the brilliant four year old that he is, he now gets dressed entirely on his own. So, this morning, he chooses to wear a blue shirt with plaid red & black pants and -- are you ready for this? -- purple socks.
On one hand I know this really doesn't matter.
On the other, I tell him "I don't like the pants".
Now, the rational mind wants to accept that statement as fact.
But, in the mind of a proud four year old who loves his cozy pants, this was unexpected betrayal!
You see, normally I enthusiastically encourage my son to wear what he likes because he likes it and I consistently am in awe of what he chooses to wear -- I play it up like a big deal and I cheer him on about how freaking cute he looks.
(When I am not woken at 5:05 AM I know it's not about what he's wearing but about the process he engages to make choices.)
But sometimes... like this morning, I made it about the pants and told him I didn't like the pants 🤦♀️.
So what does he do? He starts to cry!
He wants me to like his pants.
But... I don't.
So I asked him "do you want me to tell you the truth or do you want me to lie?"
"I want you to LIKE MY PANTS!" he declares, in no uncertain terms.
How many of us live our life this way? Insisting that the truth be what we want it to be rather than noticing that the truth is what it is (and accepting it)?
How many of us spend our whole lives trying to change the people and places around us to match the version of reality we wish was true (rather than noticing what it is)?
How many of us turn ourselves inside out tryyyyyyyying to convince ourselves that we can change the outcome of a thing if only we tried harder? We became nicer? We understood more?
Perhaps somewhere in you there's a four year old seeking your parents approval.
Perhaps the time has come for you to notice The Truth of your experience and invite and allow it to be in flow.
Perhaps choosing to wake up and stay awake to what is is imperative for you to create a different life -- one that is in alignment with who you are capable of becoming.
The most freeing gift you can give yourself, your loved ones and this world is becoming mindful of the Truth that you carry by shedding the belief systems that lead you to live a life of pain.
The journey is never easy, and it is always, in all ways, worth it.
As for my son, he took great comfort when I said -- and I meant it-- how cute he looks in those pants!
All I had to do is widen my perspective by pausing and mindfully engaging the process that has saved my life (Quantum TLC™). In other words...
intentionally focus my attention inside myself,
notice the process of what was unfolding so I can see the bigger picture,
ask myself what matters most to me in this moment,
and engage my moment with deep love for myself and my son.
After all, all meaning is context dependent ...
Then we went downstairs, played by the fire while the coffee was brewing ... and the rest, well, the rest is history...
Curious about the other stories that help contextualize the process of Quantum TLC?
👉This one is about my son’s hair. The result? He hasn’t cut his hair in a full year.
👉And this one? About the time I thought my husband hates me because he accidentally (?) shrunk my favourite blue cardigan.
👉Then there’s that time I was shamefully eating bread…
Here are some WEL-Systems® parenting resources for you to consider as we move into the holiday season ...
Read the stories in the Guardians of the Vision book.
Experience what's possible when you introduce Decloaking to your life (introduction to the audio files is free).
Download the free Parenting for Potential guide I created and explore the journaling questions intended to help you evolve your parenting.
