Tips on Choosing Joy this Holiday Season!

What does it take to choose Joy as a state of being,in the midst of it all?! 

So, you’re seeking to be more joyful in your life but you have no idea where to find it? This is what we explored in December’s “Igniting Your Potential” monthly gathering. Below is the introduction to the call, everything I shared with the group before we delved into the coaching portion of the experience. Have a listen, and enjoy! And if you’re ever called to participate in a monthly conversation yourself, all you have to do is connect with me.

Joy is a state of being…

Joy is a state of being that most people look for outside of themselves, never finding it ‘out there’ because it can only ever exist ‘in here’, where one lives.

Joy is a state of being that requires no doing; it simply exists in the moment one stops and inhales the sacredness of the moment. 

Joy is a state of being that invites us to live fully immersed in the unknowable mystery of life. 

Joy is a state of being that  allows us to touch the meaning of life … the grace of our own divinity and that of all of life, lived.

Joy is a state of being that children know inherently well, because it is our birthright.

All we have to do to be in joy is to be in a state of receptivity. 

But, what gets in the way?

While I’ll be exploring that in a guide that I’m working on, I’d like to give you the short answer: habit. Habit can be anything from fear, to powerlessness, agitation, guilt, uncertainty, lack of control, fire, and so on. It’s the plethora of stories that direct our intentionality away from our inner landscape, the only place where joy lives, to the outer “reality” (which, of course, is socially constructed by the dominant voices of the culture, which means that the agreed upon version of “reality” is merely a collectively shared illusion shaped and directed by the-powers-that-be, which is why you can always find something to feel bad about. But, I digress). 

The antithesis to all that? Play! Enthusiasm! Excitement to explore! 

Truth is, the very fact that we are alive is an unsolvable mystery… if we focused our attention on rejoicing in that simple fact, we might find ourselves enthused by the very line of inquiry. This is a choice.

An alternative choice is hyperventilating for weeks about “the right” colour to choose for your Christmas dinner napkins. 

How you relate to life is a matter of what you choose to prioritize in your mind with the things you focus on. 

I know, from personal experience, that what we think we must prioritize doesn’t feel like a choice because we feel taken by the thing we are habitually focused on. Therein lays the predicament – the capacity to notice choice has become hijacked by the familiarity of the habit. 

But when you know how your nervous system works you understand the transformational power of an intentional pattern interrupt and how it works. Now you know you could develop ability, but only if you are willing. I can help with the former, but the latter is purely internally driven. In other words – the “how” is discoverable, but you have to want it.

If you are one of those who wants to feel more joy in your life, I invite you to consider that in order to do so, you will have to let go of what has been familiar and discover “how else” to engage your moment. Not always easy, but in my experience, always worth it! 

Here are a few tips, if you will, about becoming more joyful. 

1. To find the joy in your life, pause and notice the joy. Since joy can only live in the present moment you are in, pausing is critical. Pause, and exhale what you feel is occupying your mental, emotional, spiritual bodies. Pause and notice the moment you are in. Pause and really take it in by applying the six *fundamentals*, starting with breathe… Turn your attention inward, with curiosity about what you might discover. Your body is the key to Self-discovery! Why? Because your body is not what you’ve taught it is; it is so much more…

2. Invite and allow the moment you are in to lead you into the kind of Self-discovery that ignites the visceral inner knowings that the moment is sacred, simply because it is when life is lived. This is it. There is no more yesterday and tomorrow never actually comes. There is only the perpetual now. How willing are you to claim it? The only way I have discovered how to is Quantum TLC™. That’s how I let go of habit and intetnionally shift into the domain of the unknown for the purposes of reclaiming the moment, and noticing the joy that is already there. 

3. When I intentionally engage Quantum TLC, the natural state I am in is that of receptivity, discovery and deep curiosity. This is the state that is required if we are to create that which brings us meaning. When we are open and receptive to creating from the truth of the moment as it is being discovered, we rejoice in our creations! Why? Because we surprise ourselves with the what’s possible  that now exists only because we dared to live! 

This way of life is so natural to children, and play is an intentional welcomed expression of the Crone (who has chosen to let go of the weight of the world from her shoulders and realized it never belonged to her, anyway). Something happens in that in-between phase where we honour the the obligations and responsibilities more than we honour the meaning of our life.

4. Finally, joy makes itself known when we welcome and give ourselves permission to notice how majestic we really are! And … what gets in the way. Truth is, if we don’t begin to notice that who and what we are is so much bigger than our perceived problems, we will continue to focus on our our problems. And that’s just no fun, because in a problem-oriented mindset, all you do is create more problems!

It takes great courage …

It takes courage to live a life of passion and integrity. It takes courage to embrace our own inner states as guides to creation. It takes courage to follow our inner cues and enthusiastically play for discovery. It takes courage to reclaim the sacred I AM. It takes courage to live from that deeply connected space. It takes courage to honour the mystery that is life, lived through exploration and discovery. It takes courage to awaken and live from the essence of our being. It takes courage to reclaim joy as our birthright. It takes great courage to live.

And at the end of the day, noticing and reclaiming joy … is a matter of choice.

Please intentionally enjoy the holiday season, by choice. 

I look forward to seeing you in the new year, starting with 7 Days of Rest!

PS – If you read this post and all it did is piss you off, I get it. Congrats on reading it, anyway! On the other side of joy, unclaimed lives rage, undigested. Since both are fire expressions that live on two opposite sides of the spectrum, it is highly predictable that people who are disconnected from joy feel rage, instead. I get it; and I’m here to tell you: yes, you can digest your fire so that you too will feel joy! If you’d like to discover how, talk to me.

Want to explore this a bit further? Check out my Instagram post about it.

While you’re there, don’t forget to “follow” and “subscribe” and all that good stuff that keeps us connected.

Are your habits hurting you?

If so, you are the only one who can pattern-interrupt what's not working for you and discover how else to engage your moment.



How wonderful you chose this for yourself! Now all that's left is to enjoy the process of self-discovery!