CODE Model Coaching™: It's about how you choose, not the choice itself
A few days ago I received an email from a client in my New Ways In Chaotic Times yearlong experience in which she revealed to me the truth of her experience about being coached by me. It wasn’t an easy email for her to write, of that I’m certain. Yet her courage and willingness to give voice to her difficult truth opened up the Space for us both to reclaim something massive inside ourselves.
After all, how often do women silence themselves in the presence of other women whom they perceive as powerful? I’m inclined to believe a lot. Too much, in fact. And in doing so, they diminish not only their own capacity for evolution but that of the collective.
Be yourSelf, and tell the Truth of your experience are the basics in the WEL-Systems® way of living. In other words: Say what you mean and mean what you say in an open, honest, clear and direct way with respect, integrity and generosity of Spirit. Easier said than done ... especially when we believe that what we have to say (the Truth of our experience) will be perceived as offensive or will land us in the 'outsider' group. After all, the hardest word in the English dictionary for a woman seems to be 'no'.
So when this client sent this email, I rejoiced in having received it! Because I know how life-giving it is to actually speak Truth to power and notice that (unlike the world ‘out there’) in our community of evolving WEL-Systems® women, no one leaves and no one gets thrown out. By choice …
I am clear: my job is to guide women to discover the process of how to make choices; I am increasingly indifferent to the actual choices they make because I trust it all to be genius! My greatest gift to each person in my life: love and let go ...
So, after having removed references to the client specifically, below is what I wrote to her. I share it with you so you can begin to trust that it is okay to be you ... to ask for what you want ...
Thank you, for your courage and willingness to speak your truth.
Thank you, Louise (LeBrun), for always being willing to engage at the process and context level, such that we evolve past our perceived limitations.
The work to engage with another is never 'easy', and it always comes with complications because of the perceptual filters that shape the context through which we live our lives from.
There are so many thoughts that pop up for me, and the main ones are: be yourSelf, tell the Truth (of your experience). I always aim to contextualize what I say with the truth that I know is mine. I ask the questions I ask because it's meaningful to me to explore those; it is never directive for what you should do or not do. Think of where that sits in logical levels ...
Because, after all, in order for me to do my job, I have got to be willing to be in-different to the choices you make in your life...which, I am. I trust you to live your life as is meaningful for you. And, my job is to make sure I speak the truth of my experience when we interact. If I didn't, I'd be dishonest with and inside mySelf, and we both know: I'm unwilling to betray mySelf (my Truth). And that would make me a very shitty CODE Model Coach™!
That's what I see you doing right here, right now. A willingness to claim that which is your Truth, and engage it, even when it feels tough. I say that's something worth celebrating!
It isn't easy to live this way; it takes sustained commitment and a willingness to dare. To say the thing you know is true that another may not want to hear. But, if you're in the program room with me, my only promise is to be mySelf, tell my Truth, and let go of the outcome of your choices. I wholeheartedly trust this process; Self-discovery only comes from the magnificence of our imperfections! I know that one all too well ...
I've had lots of practice at letting go, even with my own sister and her children. Sometimes letting go feels like abandonment; sometimes asking tough questions feels like an attack. Either way, I trust that you know now, or will come to know, that my best gift to you (and each person I interact with) is indifference to your choices. I've had a phenomenal role model when it comes to that.
That is what trusting what the full measure of the godForce we each are looks like. Never betraying the Truth of my moment, nor giving directives on how to live your meaningful life. Truly, my greatest gift to each person that crosses my path is empowering them to the process of choice, while being indifferent to the choices they make. I trust this makes sense.
I am not your Mother, nor your Sister. I am your ally and I seek to empower you to live empowered by taking charge of your own life. How you do that, is up to you ...
I trust all this makes sense to you...
Until next time,
Stela
RESOURCES TO CONSIDER: Because doing more of the same will get you more of what you've got.
The power to love and let go comes from the embodied energy of the Crone. She is the Force that sees the bigger picture and trust it, too. She is the Force that knows to love fully, and let go lovingly. She also knows the consequences of not doing that ...
If you're ready to reclaim your personal power because you are tired of your own bullshit, I invite you to listen to Cultural Crones: The Power of Permission free audio files.