Dear Declan: A love letter on your third birthday
For those who prefer to listen rather than read, here you go!
Dear Declan,
Today you turn three. I have spent the last few weeks pushing aside any notion of three, waiting for the day to come. In those same few weeks, I have rejoiced in noticing your evolution. I have allowed myself to take in the wholeness of you. I have allowed myself to be fully immersed in the joy you are and all that you bring to this world of spirit-manifested-in-matter.
The name of the game is always, in all ways, accelerated personal evolution. So many parents find it easy to notice at this age, because they are still 'responsible' for shaping how their children interpret reality. The point for most parents is to teach their children the ways of the world and trust that based on what they taught you, you will do well because you'll know the rules with which to play the social game. What to think becomes defined for you, but the processes of thinking is left inconsdiered. And then, somewhere along the way, divine curiosity turns to personal righteousness and evolution becomes stagnated.
My promise to you is to never allow that to happen, as long as I am responsible for the quality of your life and the shaping of your mind.
My promise to you is to give you full permission to evolve into the greatest version of yourself that you were always meant to be. I don't want you to lose that and discover it as you go along, I want you to always viscerally know it. To know who you are, and most importantly: what you are.
In a world where spirituality has become a mere strategy of patriarchal upbringing, I want you to know your Self.
In a world that tells you there is no Self, there is only God (or nothing/coincidence/random/chance/chaos), I want you to know your divinity.
In a world convinced it is right, I want you to grow up trusting the process and the magical discoveries found only in the unknown (and unknowable).
In a world that will try to mold you and shape you into something you are not (for its own purposes), I want you to see right through the illusion and not mistake the carrot for the stick (and maybe even notice what's beyond the stick...).
In a world where abomination is idolized and psychopathy normalized, I want you to pay...attention, differently.
Parenting is the delivery mechanism for culture. What I've come to discover is that most parents seem quite comfortable in some version of the command and control strategy, which inevitably produces cultural drones who would rather die never having truly lived than dare to question the structure of their reality. There is a right and there is a wrong, and if you're not right then you are wrong. Black and white.
But ...who controls the narrative of right and wrong? Authority. And what are people taught to do in the face of authority? Hide in terror and shame or brace against it in righteous rage.
My highest hope for you is that you will be willing and able to see above and beyond that, so you don't fall into the well-installed and sustained traps of believing yourself small, believing your worth is validated only when someone out there says so. My hope is that you will be willing and able to notice the strategies imposed and know: I AM, and therefore I am powerful in the creation of my reality.
Lots will try to shame you for claiming that statement. Ooof, man, the message is persistent and invasive: there is a God but you're not it. Despite what you intuitively know from birth. Despite what so many people live. Despite the conclusive science out there that shows without a shadow of a doubt what we are as human beings. Cultural conditioning prevails. Keeping yourself small prevails. ...when it reality is all constructed.
What is reality, anyway, if not a construct of mind? He who shapes our mind controls who we believe ourselves to be, controls the options presented as choice, controls the normalization of cultural norms, controls the narrative of what's available, controls the strategies we end up habituating, controls the behaviours we engage in, controls the environment in which we live in. It's all predictable. And therefore it is hackable.
But first, you must know yourSelf. Without that, it is all an intellectual game that stagnates in a neverending closed loop of searching but never finding.
I know, because I fell victim to it as well. Not because I was weak or stupid or lacked curiosity, but because the cultural conditioning which we are all exposed to makes damn sure we grow up to be broken, deficient, hurting, exhausted, illusioned (in our 'class', intellectual) adults. Despite how well educated I was, despite being in the personal evolution game from the age of 18 when I found yoga, despite reading all the books I could get my hands on taking all the self-help courses, and seeking all types of therapy, and constantly learning, I only got glimpses of the bigger picture. Therefore, I was still fucking crazy and addicted to substances to try desperately to numb myself and stay anywhere but inside.
The paradox being, of course, that if I'm not inside my body, I am disconnected. And in that state, all I can create is more of the same. The very thing that was killing me yet I didn't know how to escape.
Noone taught me the power of process, until I discovered WEL-Systems®.
Noone taught me the power of context, until I discovered WEL-Systems.
Noone taught me the power of considered choice, until I discovered WEL-Systems.
They all talked the talk but almost noone, mark my words, almost noone, walked the walk. Everyone still operated within the constructs of the paradigm of patriarchy and all it's a metaphor for. You see it now with "spiritual teachers" using shaming as a tactic to get people to sign up and it works! It's incredible to witness how we worship plastic (fake) and are sceptical of our own Selves. That's how we end up in cult-like experiences where the so-called guru is above everyone else, using predatory techniques to manipulate and control.
I found none of this in WEL-Systems® conversations. I found only my Self. I discovered my power. I discovered the power of choice. I was shown a process of how to step into, reclaim, and live from that power, unapologetically. I discovered not only who I am, but most importantly what I AM. I discovered how to live from that space and create a life of meaning from that space. I discovered how to engage with other women (and a few men) from that space. I discovered that I matter. I discovered that I AM sacred. I discovered the power of paradigm/mindset. I discovered the paradigm of I AM the godForce manifested in tissue, and I am unapologetic about that.
Now, how to live as the sacred I AM in a world full of the profane ... how to perpetually reclaim sacred in every breath within the secular device (that in itself is sacred). To live a sacred life, I must stay awake.
Many people wake up and in their awakening decide that they are comfortable now, so they stop. They buy into the illusion of comfort and make accelerated personal evolution about solving a problem. Well, then, my dear son, know this: if that's the path you choose, you will always have problems to solve! Intellectuals love that ...
Even though being an intellectual is the most highly possessed prize of the average person in the world you're born in, what I invite you to strive for is freedom. Intellect is a prison of its own; it convinces you that you can "figure it out" if you just had the right tools and strategies and information. It isn't true. If it was, and if anyone was paying attention (or if they were truly informed to a larger context), they would notice that more information isn't making their lives better. We are digging a hole so deep, it is necessarily leading to self destruction.
As above, so below. As below, so above.
In it's infinite wisdom, consciousness evolves.
There are laws in the universe. There is structure.
There is always a larger context within which your experience unfolds.
Always. In all ways.
Question is: are you willing to give yourself permission to pay attention?
Notice how everyone seems to live around you. How profoundly disconnected are they from themSelves, do you think? And now, with the immersion of biodigital convergence and programmable money and VR as reality, we are in for literal inability to hear our own thoughts, never mind intuition! Most who dare suggest intuition even exists will be mocked ... That's the world you'll grow up in. Those are the ideologies you'll be up against. And when you know your Self, there will be nothing to do but be you, simply paying attention!
Yet here you are, turning three, and have no idea what the fuck I'm blabbering on about. Most adults don't, either. I make peace with being perceived as a nutcase who thinks she's a know-it-all. The truth is, the more I know the more I know that I don't know. And I am relentless in my humble pursuit of perpetually becoming more mySelf. And the paradox is, I always am the totality of what I could/would be... isn't this so much fun!
And, with what I do know and my full trust in the unknown, my existence and audacity to engage has become the transformational Force in the lives of the few women who dare step into a conversation with I AM Darkness, Revealing. That's the name I have come discover as my Signal from Self. And, I am Stela Murrizi: the star contrasted in the dark. I love my name because it is representative of my purpose on this planet, at this time ... breaking up the concrete (muri) through shining light (Stela = star) in the dark (i zi). Fascinating stuff!
What's in a name, you ask? Great question.
We chose your name intuitively yet definitely, after searching for a long time. We went through a gazilion Albanian names and Irish names. We made lists of what we liked, yet nothing fully landed. And then, your uncle Abe said "Declan" and I remember the moment that sound penetrated my awareness: it felt right. And then, in a moment thereafter, I realized the link to Nena Deko and I could feel the pull of the ancestral lineage in that name. And, most importantly, I could feel the potential it held for the mindful creation of a meaningful future for you. Plus I saw you being born in my dream, and I knew that was real...
Declan means a man of god(Force). Full of goodness. A man of prayer. A man of devotion. A man devoted to the godForce that he is, that's how I interpret all that.
You are only three and our goal as parents is to make damn sure we become the larger safe space within which your evolution unfolds. My goal is to educate you through the WEL-Systems paradigm which demands that I stay awake to my own internal cues, and move through the world trusting only those cues and where they lead me. So far, my sweet little love, it's the only framework that has allowed me to give myself permission to lead mySelf exactly where I intend to go ... so I choose to trust the process.
I invite you to live a life where you have nothing to hide from anyone. I invite you to choose to live life as an open book inside yourself, because it's easier that way. Secrets and lies are what's killing people out here. The inability and unwillingness to reveal their darkness to themselves is what's killing them. In the moment they separate self and safety from darkness, they become small. Are you willing to notice and not get dragged down with them? Are you willing to be of service without being in servitude? Are you willing to keep surrendering to the Truth that you are unapologetically? If so, your life will be full of magic and wonder! When we lead life with divine curiosity about ourselves, we live easy, full lives ...
And, the catch is: it's all a matter of choice. Most people don't want to admit this because it would require they step up and take responsibility for their lives. Most people would rather die to be right than ever question the structure of their reality. They're right and that's that! And they will spend their lives trying to keep convincing themselves (and you) of their righteousness (defending what they know, denying what they don't know) as opposed to opening themselves up to curiosity and vulnerability (surrendering to what they don't know they don't know). This is how wars happen. Wars "out there" between countries, and wars "in here" inside ourselves.
Personally I made peace with this a long time ago: Truth always beckons to live free. So, I don't want to be right; I choose to be free. Truth is freedom. Truth I AM.
So, this mother's best advice to my three year old?Be yourself, and tell the truth! Notice where you deny, defend, dismiss, avoid. Notice where you think you know best. Notice where you hook yourself to an illusion to try and sustain the status quo of your life. Notice when that's no longer serving you. Notice your unfolding mindfully in every breath, and choose every choice consciously. Seek the higher order truth that's beckoning to be revealed to you, and you will find it ... over and over and over ...
Other than that, have fun! Rejoice in the unfolding of your life! Rejoice in the majesty of being alive! Rejoice in the joy of being YOU on this short journey on planet Earth! Rejoice in Truth & Freedom & Interconnectivity! Rejoice in being your you-est YOU!
I wish you a life led from curiosity, full of wonder and joy! I wish you a life of sovereignty and freedom of mind.
Thank you for choosing me, and your papa, as your Guardians of the Vision...
Parenting for Potential (free guide)
Are you looking to evolve your parenting? Start with this free resource — a Journey of Reflection guide about the process of parenting.